> How generous of you! I assume that this offer extends to both men and women.

Well, to be honest, I was thinking that I personally would be qualified to provide the service to women; in particular, attractive, uninhibited women of the “Oh, I think alcholic losers are sooo cute!” variety.

But, hey, I’m open-minded, so I won’t completely rule out the possibility of providing some version the service to men also. But it’d have to be the right kind of man. For starters, a man with really shapely breasts. Also, he might need to get me really drunk first. (Well, OK, that part shouldn’t be so hard to do.)

So I have started a new “How to Keep Your Breasts” warm service. For a nominal fee, and for suitable candidates, I will, in the privacy on your own home, do “hands on” training to teach you natural ways to keep your breasts warm. To apply, just send me a photo of yourself and a short message. A photo of your breasts would also be helpful to me in preparing for the training session, but it is not strictly necessary.